Tuesday, February 1, 2011

To Walk

Crippled is a state of mind.

I have advanced degeneration in both of my knees, and disc degeneration in my lumbar region. Not cool.
But, here's the thing, I've been angry as hell at the doctor with whom I've been working for two and a half years. Angry he is so conservative and his decision not to pursue surgery hasn't worked. I've tried to pretend the pain is not there, and that hasn't worked either. Now I am a second year graduate student with 45 weeks to go until graduation. I must finish this degree.

The old adage, "People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be", is true I say; because life is really so full of shit and pain, and basic sorrow much of the time, that unless I learn to take life less seriously, I will be dead much sooner than anticipated.

To hell with waiting to "feel" good again. Pain can do a lot of things but I will not allow it to control my mind any longer. I believe that in the mind we learn about the soul. And, there is absolutely nothing that can destroy our belief system or the strength of the mind, unless we allow something to do that.

So, today I vow my freedom. And in whatsoever state I may find myself, I know that my mind is free to wander...wander to good health, laughter, light-hearted thinking. Or, my mind is free to wander to dark places of grief and regret, focus on the pain and the misery of the shit that happens in life.

I cannot physically walk very well today. I can think walking; because crippled is a state of mind!